I don't need smoke to make myself disappear

Fueled by mostly instagram hashtags, the Trophy Club, and endless repeats of Mark Morrison's "Return of the Mack", I've taken it upon myself to get out of town and ride my bike to sleep in the dirt. It turns out I don't need much for this trip in particular; I've got the bike, the time, and I bought a bunch of ramen last week.
I wish I could say this trip will be an "epic week-long journey along California's coastline, through ancient redwoods and scenic headlands", but in reality the copy might read something along the lines of "I hope you bring enough water and don't get mauled by anything with sharper teeth than you (METH HEADS)". The route leaves San Luis Obispo into the Los Padres National Forest, crossing Highway 166 into New Cuyama eventually leading southbound into Ojai. After coffee with Goth Brooks I'll head into Santa Paula, Simi Valley and ultimately home to the San Fernando Valley.

I definitely gave thought to riding the coast from SF to LA as many have done before me but I could see myself being over it in a very short amount of time. I mean, I like riding bikes and sleeping in the dirt but not that much. SLO to SFV is shorter and far less committal with all the same quirky bike touring shit like coffee on a mountain and saddle sores.